My Relationship with Nicotine

Krista, Health Promotion Manager

In hindsight I guess I could say I have always had a close personal relationship with Nicotine. I am sure my mother smoked while my twin brother and I were in the womb. My father certainly did as well as many other relatives of that time. My collective unconscious is flooded with a host of ancestors who contribute to a “normal” existence with smoking. It is something that always was a part of my environment growing up. I have images of my father building lobster traps in his building with a cigarette in his mouth, taking a puff and not missing a beat, no hands needed. I remember being impressed by that and as a teenager tried to mimic it. My efforts were met with smoke in the eye and as a result burning and watery eyes; funny how that did not deter me.

As children around the age of 11 my twin and I, always a partner in crime, would steal cigarettes and sneak in the woods to smoke them. Our career was short lived and we were punished severely when we were caught. As a teenager I succumbed to peer pressure as many do and began to smoke with friends every day at school. Again my mother found out and made me sit in front of her and smoke a whole pack one after another. It was horrible; I took my nausea to the bathroom and spent the rest of the night moaning in bed. That was a deterrent for a while. I did again start to smoke and it was not until a certain boy who was a non smoker caught my eye, that I made a personal choice to not smoke. I remember the moment distinctly. I came into the cafeteria where he was sitting with all our friends and he announced that I smelled like a butt. That was the end of that…for a while.

It was not until university that I started smoking again. It was sporadic usually related to drinking. If I was around friends that smoked I smoked, if I wasn’t I don’t. I do not recall ever “croaking” for one. It was a social thing. After university there were times that I would accept a cigarette when offered one. Since I have been in the health care field I associate a feeling of shame with those incidents and make a conscious effort to not succumb to a tempting situation. It was difficult in the beginning. I find now I am exposed to a constant stream of literature, posters education regarding smoking cessation and it helps me hold strong against any passing temptations. If fact now when it happens I find it interesting to examine them, much like I would advise a client to. I can see how it is difficult to do especially if you are not ready, committed and supported.

Professionally I work two days a week facilitation information briefs about a smoking cessation program to Canadian Soldiers who want to quit smoking. In the stage of change most of who come to me are at least in the contemplation stage. They primarily need our program to gain access to free medications, however once here realize there are other tools available to enhance their quitting attempt. I really enjoy talking with people about their desire to quit. That is the one thing I see is the desire to be rid of the hold cigarettes have on them. I guess this is one of the reasons why I want to pursue formal certification, to learn more about the physiology of nicotine addiction and the best practice for success. This desire does not seem to be enough.

I also have a secret agenda as well. In addition to keeping myself strong against the tyranny of nicotine addiction, I have a husband and a father who struggle with it. In the back of my mind I feel the more I can know and the more “legitimate” my knowledge is the more clout it might have with the two of them. I know that is the individual that needs to make the steps however I also feel that being an influence can also help. So this is where I stand on the personal side.

As far as my formal education goes, I attended Acadia University from ‘94 to ‘98 in my home province of NS and graduated with a Bachelor of Recreation Management. Healthy lifestyle and positive change has been of interest to me from the beginning of my academic career. I wrote a paper in my third year on the Leisure Behaviour of Commercial Lobster Fishermen of Digby Neck. Turns out their favourite pass time was to spend time together drinking, smoking and talking shop. My father, being a part of this group also struggled and overcame alcohol addiction, so I am intimately familiar with the 12 step program as well. In 2006 I attended Dalhousie University to complete coursework need to certify as a Recreation Therapist. During that time I completed several courses that touched on addiction. A move to the West Coast and a change in career to Health Promotion furthered my interest in addictions.

In the past two years I have worked for the Canadian Forces and have been trained in addiction free living, among other pillars like nutrition, exercise, stress management, anger management, healthy relationships and suicide intervention. This is training used to deliver briefs to the CF members regarding policy, healthy choices and addiction. One of my tasks is to administer the Butt Out Program. This is a behaviour change program that is currently delivered in a self help format. 14 steps take an individual through development of a plan for quitting smoking. I have enclosed a copy of the booklet for your interest. This is one of my favourite tasking. I wish I had more time for it and more expertise. I find myself stuck with some clients and revert back to our program, which hardly seems adequate for those emotionally beaten by this disease.

I have seen those who come through the door and are so determined, they follow the program to a tee. Check in each week, talking positively about the changes they have made and then continuously fall off the wagon. It seems hopeless sometimes and feel there has to be a better way. I recently read In the Realm of the Hungry Ghost by Gabor Mate. He has worked tirelessly with the homeless and addicted in the Vancouver East Hastings area. It really opened my eyes to the relapse that happens and the humanity in addiction. It is so important not to judge and meet people where they are at. It is often difficult to do when the client comes back to my office 4, 5, and 6 times. I am also interested to see what Dr. Nora Volkow of the National Institute of Drug Abuse has to say. I first saw her on the HBO documentary Addiction and have been keeping my eye on her and her research ever since. She explained the use of drugs, including nicotine as maintaining the “normal”. I see in some of my clients and my husband that very powerful need to just feel normal and needing the drug to alleviate the pains of withdrawal. I really liked how she was so hopeful for recovery of the dopamine system after it had been hijacked.

I think there is a way to use the background I have in recreation therapy to supplement a treatment plan to get clients back on a healthy addition free lifestyle. I look forward to working through the TAS and hope that is brings me practical tools I can apply in helping others.